Ever since my fifth grade reading teacher told me I was “an excellent writer” and nominated me to go to the Young Author’s Conference at a local high school in 1985, I have wanted to be a published author. I chronicled my big feelings in journals throughout middle school, secretly loved writing essays for my high school English classes, and majored in English to prove that I was “serious” about the craft. For eleven years, I taught high school English and tried my best to help my students hone their writing skills. I also taught writing workshops in the summer to teach teachers how to teach writing by becoming writers themselves. During this busy time, I sustained my writing life through journals and academic essays for my two master’s degrees, and I kept that published author dream alive inside my soul with SOMEDAY.
After my two daughters were born and I finished up a second master’s degree in Library Science, the excuses of SOMEDAY ran out, and I took the advice that I always wrote in my students’ yearbooks at the end of the year–CHASE YOUR DREAMS.
In 2013, I started writing my first book. I wrote and revised for two years. I slowly developed a discipline around my writing life, and I’m proud of that. I wrote when I wasn’t in the mood; I made word-count goals; I chose my writing when I could. I learned how to carve out time, which is the hardest work of a writer’s life, especially when it’s not your full-time job.
In 2015, I sent that manuscript to 50 literary agents, which is the first step in getting through the traditional publishing gate. I received some interest and compliments on my writing, but those 50 rejections felt like failure.
I started writing A Soft Place to Land in 2016 as proof that I could dust myself off and try again. I finished the revising/editing process in 2018 and queried 75 literary agents. I got close to that magical YES several times, but I didn’t get an agent. In 2019, I posted the entire manuscript of ASPTL on Swoon Reads, an online crowdsourced YA romance publishing imprint. It was thrilling and terrifying to share my Book Baby with readers
These are all of drafts (that I saved) and journals that I used in the process of writing A Soft Place to Land.
Rachel’s story resonated on Swoon Reads. Every comment buoyed my hope that I could write a compelling novel that connected people to my characters. Maybe my Book Dream wasn’t crazy? In February 2020, I learned that I did not receive a contract from Swoon Reads and decided to remove my manuscript from the site. I was devastated and felt like a failure. Again. But then March 2020 brought the onslaught of the Pandemic, and it felt silly to mourn the loss of my dream when the world was burning around me, so I buried my sadness. Because I sought the validation of traditional publishing, I thought that I wasn’t worthy of being a published author. In total, I had racked up 126 rejections from my two manuscripts. I still wrote rants in my journal and wordy Facebook posts, but I stopped working on the Book Dream.
Through some difficult post-Covid years that resulted in me finally going to therapy, I landed on what felt so off inside of my soul–I hadn’t only shut down my creative outlet, I had stopped dreaming. But I never forgot about Rachel, and I felt her voice tugging at me. When I pulled up her story from the files of my Google Drive in early 2025, my creativity trickled like water from rusty pipes. I slowly began to feel alive with possibility and hope–that fluttering in my chest that I had missed, and I started revising the story again.
Honestly, I have always been leery of self-publishing. I am a recovering book snob, who once thought only legitimate books came from the machine of traditional publishing. I wanted to be a part of that machine more than anything because it meant that I got the seal of approval as a worthy writer. As a librarian, I understand how the process works and can only place traditionally published books on my library shelves. It’s taken some unlearning and relearning to get on the self-publishing path, but now that I am here, there is a lot of freedom in it. I am not on this journey for fame and fortune; that was never the goal. The goal was to finish a book–take it through the excruciating process of drafting, revising, editing, and then put it in the world to be read. I always thought that I needed traditional publishing to validate my worth as a writer, but now I realize that I can give the magical YES. I am the one I have been waiting for.
It feels right for A Soft Place to Land to be my debut novel, and for it to be on my terms.
My hope is that sharing my journey will inspire others to keep doing the work to make their dreams possible. I also hope that Rachel’s story resonates with readers and makes them think about the ways that they can put hope, kindness, and courage into this brutal world.